AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
