i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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