OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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