Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
