butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
