he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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