Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
