So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
