I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
