Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
