he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
