I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
