my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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