I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
