You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
