i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
