My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
