I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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