I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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