just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You took a bar mat shot.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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