I think I died a long time ago.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
