we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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