Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
