I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
