hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
