She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i came on her dog
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I need to sanitize my soul.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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