worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
