Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this just has baby written all over it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
