the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
