BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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