Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
