So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
