I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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