Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
