About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
