have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
