i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
