I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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