Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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