god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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