Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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