Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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