oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
