She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
