Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Still dying that you shit outside
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He shit in the fireplace
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
