On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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