Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
