tell your sister to shave her snatch
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
