whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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