he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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