Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
